Things I'll never say

I know, I know...dealing in absolutes, especially in the realm of parenting, is treading on dangerous territory. Many an "always" or "never" statement has come back to bite its speaker in the butt. Plenty of children suck happily on pacifiers whose parents once affirmed they would never resort to such measures to soothe their child.

Regardless, I must have goals as a mom, and so I present to you the following list of things I overheard today at the playground that I hope I never hear myself saying to my offspring:

• "Sticks can be dangerous. Let's not play with that stick, okay?"
• "We're not going to climb trees today. We came to play on the slide."
• "Stop picking up pine cones. Those aren't yours!" (And just who, may I ask, do those pine cones on the ground belong to? The trees we're not climbing?)
• "Don't kick that ball so hard!" (Perhaps we should learn to kick the soccer ball more gingerly while we're on the soccer field?)

I might add that the kids to whom these insane playground laws applied seemed to be on the fast track to growing into a bunch of sissies. I'm not advocating that we throw discipline to the wind and let our kids run around like a bunch of hooligans. I'm all for teaching kids boundaries and obedience. But sometimes (and warm days at the park are ideal times), how about more fun and fewer silly rules? It's the playground, after all. If they can't be kids there, what chance do they have?