Teach them to your children

It's important to have career goals in any job, and parenting is no exception. I'm realizing this more and more as Abby is getting older and arguably more human-like. (That's not to say she was un-human before. But before the sitting up, eating real food and imitating of adults, she was similar to a pet in many ways. Now I can see this whole little person starting to show itself in our little girl, and it's easier to imagine that she'll be walking and talking before we know it.)

My goals up to this point have been overwhelmingly simplistic and short term. Each day, I must accomplish at least the following

• keep Abby alive
• make sure she's fed and watered
• spend quality time with her

While my short term goals are beginning to get a little more complex now that she's starting to interact more and becoming more mobile, I'm seeing more clearly the need for that one big goal. It is this goal, that one big long term goal, that must govern everything I say and do with my daughter, for it is this goal that defines my role as a parent and sums up everything I hope to accomplish for the 18 or so years that this little person will live under my roof. If I fail to accomplish this goal, it matters not how well-mannered, well-fed or well-adjusted my daughter is. I will have failed her, and myself, if I do not aim toward this one goal in everything I do.

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

-- Deuteronomy 6:5-7

It's right there in black and white: the first and greatest commandment, with an addendum just for parents, leaving no margin for error. I am to teach my child the ways of the Lord, raise her up to love and serve and worship Him, and I am to do it with diligence. That's a pretty lofty goal, in my opinion, and I'm thankful that this God of ours is the one who will equip me to accomplish it. "My God, I would not know how to do that if You did not enable me to do it" (Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God).

This is not a goal that will happen to be accomplished by accident. No, that part about "teaching them diligently" rules out that option. This goal of raising up a child to love the Lord must be a deliberate effort. In discipline, in play, in my interactions with her dad and others, I must model Christ's love, mercy, grace and forgiveness. My heart is heavy at such a daunting task, for I know how often I have failed and will continue to fail to live this way. Paul's mental anguish strikes at the core of my fears when he writes in Romans, "I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway."

How then will I model for my child a life that I myself cannot live? By admitting just that. I am a sinner, saved by grace, and in daily need of Christ's forgiveness. I will show her love by pointing her to the One who knew her before she was born, who made a way for her salvation before the foundation of the world. I will show her mercy by teaching her of the One who withholds the judgment we deserve and offers us grace by giving us life abundant when we do nothing to earn it. And I will show her forgiveness by seeking hers when I wrong her, by admitting where I fail and when I fall, and by showing her how to seek God's forgiveness when I sin.

And when I come up short on these goals, I will go again to the foot of the cross, to the Father who calls me daughter, to find strength and mercy and grace to run with endurance this race He has set before me called parenthood.