Bringing home a baby bumblebee

Abby had a blast on her first real Halloween outing. Last year didn't really count, since she was asleep long before the trick-or-treating ever started.

Our cute little bumble bee (or "bubblebee," as she referred to herself) spent all day making people smile in her costume. We joined Justin for lunch at the office costume party his company throws for the kiddos and then stopped for groceries on the way home and got to tour the WeinerMobile before Abby crashed for the afternoon. (Incidentally, this is the third time in my life I've run into this thing, which seems like a slightly higher rate of encounter than most.)

After enjoying some warm chili with our neighbors, we headed out for some neighborhood trick-or-treating with one very cute bee and one very cute Mickey Mouse. The girls had a blast and did a great job collecting some delicious candy for the parents to enjoy over the next few days. (Or, in the case of their two pregnant moms, possibly the next few hours.) Abby did surprisingly well for her first time. With Maddie Mouse in the lead to show her how things worked, Abby picked up pretty quickly on carrying her pumpkin up to the door and picking a piece (or five) out of a bowl for herself. She even got pretty good at saying "trick or treat," which sounds a little like "tee-o-tee." Next year we'll work on making sure she doesn't go inside everybody's house.

Waitin' on Caleb: Week 27

It's a good thing Caleb's staying curled up in there! This week he's the size of a head of cauliflower, about 2 pounds and almost 15 inches head to heel if he stretched out. He's a growing boy, and my belly is proof of that! He has fairly regular patterns of asleep and awake times now, and developmentally, he's able to open and close his eyes and may be sucking on his thumbs and fingers inside the womb. He's not nearly as hiccupy as his big sister was in utero, but when he does get the hiccups, it feels like great big bubbles popping inside of me.

Our son still sitting incredibly low inside my belly, and though I'm getting bigger by the day, I still have the feeling that I'm not nearly big enough to accommodate all the baby inside of me. Thankfully, I've got Justin to remind me that we've still got a long way to go and I'm going to get even larger to make room for this big boy I'm growing. I don't know if that's a comfort or not at this point...

The sciatica continues to plague me and is beginning to interfere with my daily activities, which is quite frustrating to this would-be active mom. Please pray for healing for this problem and that I would find a way to relieve the pain throughout the day if it's something that's going to continue through the end of this pregnancy. Pray also for Caleb's continued development. He's a growing, active boy, and we're thankful for all the positive reports we get at each doctor's appointment. We can't wait to meet our son in January!

Stop flying, time!

October 2008
(14 months old)
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March 2008
(6 months old)
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September 2007
(1 month old)
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Family Weekend

A great host of relatives descended on us recently, leaving Abby pretty underwhelmed when life returned to normal after their departure. We had a great time with Uncle Tom and Aunt Cathy before they headed up to the Naval Academy reunion for the weekend. Last time Abby spent any time with Justin's aunt and uncle, they managed to teach her how to climb the stairs. Thankfully, Tom was satisfied during this visit to teach her something that didn't require nearly as much work on my part, and we enjoyed watching him show her how to lick her finger, dip it in piles of Parmesan cheese and then lick it off while enjoying dinner at our favorite pizza place.

Soon after they left, Abby's Uncle Matt joined us and spent his time leading up to the Marine Corps Marathon eating some good hearty get-out-and-run-26.2-miles food like my world famous chili and BBQ and baked beans. Sunday we took the metro into DC and caught up with marathon Matt at miles 16 and 26, then headed back into the district on Monday to see some sights before he left.

A whirlwind weekend for the family of fish...and a fun time was had by all!

Waitin' on Caleb: Week 26

In what might be the strangest comparison ever, Caleb is about the size of an English hothouse cucumber this week. To be honest, I don't even know what that is. So to clarify, he should weigh almost 2 pounds by now and is about 14 inches long, head to heel. The nerves in his ears are well developed now, which explains his responsiveness to Justin's voice and other noises I encounter throughout the day. He's practicing his breathing and his lungs are getting ready to take their first breath outside the womb, and he's still busy packing on more baby fat in preparation for his birthday.

He's still just as active as ever, and I seem to be getting visibly bigger by the day. Justin came home from work one day this week and noted that I looked bigger than when he left that morning. I think he was right. Caleb's movements are getting more and more distinct, and I can finally make out little knees and elbows, which produce much sharper jabs than his usual punches.

A trip to the doctor this week provided us with an explanation for the ongoing sciatic nerve pain I've experienced. I mentioned to the doctor that I felt like this baby was particularly low in my abdomen and that I thought I was feeling him kick quite a few inches below my belly button, and she immediately wanted to check to see if he was in a breech position (with his feet down at the bottom of the uterus). The good news is that he is not breech; the bad news is that he is in fact head down already with his oversized baby skull pressed firmly against my spine. So unless he decides to move, I'm stuck with the stabbing pain in my back until he pops out. Hopefully he'll be real cute when he's born to make up for the inconvenience.

Please pray with us this week that he would move off of this nerve and provide me with some relief, and that he would continue to pack on baby fat and have all the nutrients he needs to continue his healthy development over these last three and a half months.

Language barrier

I do not speak toddler. For the most part, Abby is patient with my lack of understanding. She helps out by pointing and gesturing to help her dad and me understand what she's trying to tell us. Most of the time we do an okay job of communicating, and so far we haven't run into too much frustration from our little wordsmith.

The trouble with this complicated language she's learning is that many of the words we say sound sound similar, and her toddler tongue and my adult ears are often at odds because of this.

Her first words, "duck" and "quack" remain the most popular in her tiny vocabulary. She finds ducks (or anything with wings, for that matter) in the strangest of places and quacks or says "duck" while pointing to show me what she's found. So this evening, as she wandered around the house quacking up a storm, I just assumed she was looking for a duck, wanted to read a book about a duck, or had found the duckie magnet we misplaced earlier.

I was wrong.

Ever the problem solver, Abby eventually found a way to help her misunderstanding mama. Wandering into the kitchen, prying the pantry doors open, retrieving the ziploc baggie of goldfish I keep on the bottom shelf for her snack and waving the bag emphatically in my direction, Abby suddenly made sense.

"Cwacka!" she informed me. And again and again, "cwaka, cwaka!" until I opened the bag and shared some goldfish crackers with her. Satisfied, she proceeded to stuff her face until the bag of cwakas was empty.

I have a lot to learn.

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Special addendum for the grandparents:

I know you're wondering, so before you ask, here's Abby's current vocabulary, as far as I can recall at the moment.

Words she says (and knows the meaning or proper use of):

• duck
• quack
• kitty (kiki)
• cheese (cheeeez)
• turkey (t-key) (IPA: ˈtʌ.ki)
• cup
• uh oh
• no
• wow
• oh wow
• cool
• balloon (boon)
• mama
• dada
• zee (for her teddy bear, "zeepy" bear)
• light
• door (duh)
• bumblebee (bubble bee)
• tree
• Abby (ah-eee)
• baby
• night-night
  
• cracker (cwaka)
  

Also, she makes a lip smacking noise for "fish" when we ask what a fish says, and frequently hums along with our "bathtime little Abby" song. She's actually got the tune (a two-note melody) down pretty well. And if you point to a grouping of letters, she likes to sing her rendition of the alphabet song, which is actually a repitition of the "e" sound. It's really cute.

A tale of two tootsies

Abby's well-developed biped skills have opened up whole new worlds of fun for our little girl. We've watched her go from stumbling to toddling to almost running in just a few short weeks. With her walking confidence at a level high and her feet planted firmly in some hard-soled shoes, she's officially left her crawling days behind, and we're getting used to the "clomp clomp" sounds of Abby exploring our house on her own two feet.

Had she known how much fun it would be, she may have tried to pick up this walking thing before hitting the pavement or the playground required such thick socks and shoes. But with fall in full swing and freezing temperatures creeping in nightly, we've made some fun additions to our toddler's wardrobe, including winter coats, cottony tights, and the world's cutest hat.

Now when she goes on her nightly walks with dad around our neighborhood to bark at dogs and crunch leaves, she does so in style, and with minimal teeth chattering. Justin loves getting to spend this special time with his daughter after dinner every night, and always returns with tales of something adorable she did while they were out. I enjoy the little treats she finds and brings home to show me, like last night's bright yellow leaf or some special stick that caught her eye.

I just need to work on keeping her little bear bottom from hanging out...

Do I have something on my face?

Abby's great aunt Judy took us out for BBQ during her surprise visit this week, providing us an excellent opportunity to learn about our daughter's penchant for smearing baked beans and mac & cheese all over her body.

Thanks for a great visit, Aunt Judy!

Waitin' on Caleb: Week 25

From top to bottom, Caleb's coming in at about 13 1/2 inches right now and probably weighs about as much as your average rutabaga...about a pound and a half. He's starting to pack some fat on his little body and is sprouting whatever hair we'll see on his head when he's born.

If I ever complained that my first baby moved a lot, I take it back. And if I ever complained that she was riding too low in my belly, I take that back too. Caleb is redefining low and active in my second pregnancy. He kicks, punches and rolls around constantly and is especially active whenever there's a lot of noise going on around me. (Like when Abby's chattering away...which is most of the time.) Thanks to his perpetual motion, I've got a pretty good idea most of the time where he's hanging out in my belly, and I must admit I'm a little frightened at the kicks/punches I can feel happening 5-6 inches below my belly button. Maybe he'll just fall out when the time comes. A mother can dream....

Meanwhile, my middle is just big enough now to throw me completely off balance, making my already clumsy nature that much more precarious.

Now that the weather's starting to cool down and we're spending more time inside, I hope to get started on Caleb's airplane-themed nursery soon. Colors are all picked out and the crib bumper is tucked away waiting to make its debut.

Thank you for continuing to pray with us for the healthy development of our little boy as he's growing inside of me. Please pray also for us as we prepare to make the big transition to family of four!

Coming in for a landing

We're all doing our best here in the family of fish to prepare for Caleb's upcoming arrival. While I'm busy picking out colors for our airplane-themed nursery, Justin's helping Abby brush up on her flight knowledge, which so far has included making sure she was front and center for the landing of a medivac helicoptor, pushing her around on her Winnie the Pooh airplane, and teaching her to say "Zoom!"

Not to be outdone in the aviation education of our daughter (hey, my dad's a fighter pilot too, ya know...) I incorporated a ride on this very cool fighter jet into our recent trip to the outlet mall. And I must say, Abby enjoyed this way more than shopping. I figured this would make her grandpas and her great-grandpa awfully proud.

Waitin' on Caleb: Week 24

Anybody else think this baby growth-vegetable size comparison is a little corny? (Sorry...I couldn't resist.)

Well whatever your opinion, Caleb's still chugging right along in the growth department, weighing in at over a pound now and about as long as a large ear of corn. He's still pretty long and lean but should start putting on some fat now as we head into the last few months. His brain development is accelerating and his taste buds are continuing to develop. His lungs are undergoing some major changes this week as well as branches of the respiratory tree are growing and the substance is being produced that will help his lungs inflate when he takes that first breath on his birthday.

My belly, meanwhile, is doing its best to accommodate this growing little boy. I still don't look "that pregnant" according to my friends, but having my mom point out that my waist is now the same circumference as my dad's was a good reminder this week that I am, in fact "that pregnant." The discomfort of having a baby rolling around on my full bladder after meals is also a great reminder of my great-with-child status.

Caleb's getting more and more active by the day! Please pray that he would continue to grow and thrive inside of me for these last few months and that my sciatic nerve pain would ease up a little as he gets even bigger. Just four months to go!

Life outside the bubble

I can't always be there for my kids. As much as I'd like to, there will inevitably be times when I cannot defend, protect or comfort them. I guess I've been largely ignoring this truth (as most parents surely do) since, for the most part, I have so far been able to always be there for Abby.

But our little girl is growing up and experiencing life in some "big kid" ways that are outside of the great mommy bubble of protection I like to pretend she lives in sometimes. It's quite a little dance I do, this mom thing. Sometimes I pull her in close, protecting her from too much, too soon (walking by herself through a parking lot, for instance) and other times I have to push her away so she (and I) can learn what she's capable of (like going down the big slide at the park).

Sometimes I wonder if I push her too far. The disapproving glances from the more, shall we say, "hands on" moms at the park when I let my kid climb the equipment (by herself!) and go down the slide (by herself!) can cloud my confident parenting and allow room for doubt to slip in. Thankfully, I come home to a husband who reminds me that I am neither careless with nor ignorant of our daughter and her abilities to handle herself in certain situations, and that I'm currently the leading expert on all things Abby, by virtue of the fact that I'm with her all the time.

So if I decide, as I have, that during my time at Bible study my 13-month-old daughter should be eating crackers and marching around the room with the 18-24 month old class instead of rolling on the floor and playing with light-up toys in the 12-18 month old class, I appreciate the teachers who take a chance and welcome her into their classroom. So far they tell me she's done great, with the exception of a few attempts to eat her crayons. But I realize that she will face challenges as the youngest kid in the room that she would not face if she was with the younger kids.

Witness this morning, when a 22-month-old barreled past her and took the beach ball out Abby's hands, all the while yelling, "My ball! My ball!" Abby stood idly by, caught off guard at first by the boisterous nature of this slightly larger child, and then toddled around until she found another toy to play with, perfectly content with having been robbed of her ball.

"Wait just a minute," the angry mom inside of me yelled to herself. "That's not fair! My daughter was playing with that toy, and that other kid just took it from her! Something must be done to reconcile this situation! Someone must step in and stand up for my child! She can't defend herself yet!"

Thankfully, all this yelling was only going on in my head, so no one else was privy to the indignation I felt at seeing my daughter so willfully taken advantage of. The robbery long forgotten, Abby was now happily playing in the plastic kitchen set. So I turned to leave, and that's when it hit me: I can't always be there for my kids. So if I want her to stand up for herself, I have to teach her that. If I want her to not be the kid screaming "My ball! My ball!" then I have to teach her about fairness and sharing and the fine art of turn-taking. I will not always be there to defend, protect or comfort her. More importantly, I will not always be there to guide and instruct her as she makes her own decisions about the world and how she'll deal with the people in it. And here's the scary part: even if I could, I'd do an imperfect job at best.

So what's a mom to do? Take comfort in the only place I can, and release my daughter into the world knowing she has someone far more capable than me looking after her, someone who loves her infinitely more than I ever could, someone who not only wants the best for her, but is wonderfully able to provide it.

In Isaiah 49:15, God offers the assurance I needed this morning: "Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you." God will not forget my children, just as He has not forgotten me. They are safe in His care, even when I'm absent, and even when I'm present but failing. Their happiness, their success, their futures do not depend on me and my parenting skills. What peace I can have as a mom when I let this truth sink in!

This year in her class, Abby is learning about who God is. The curriculum includes a verse, set to music, that the kids hear and sing and will commit to memory this year. (I realize that Abby's limited vocabulary and short attention span will somewhat impede her learning...but she's still there, every week, soaking it in. And I like that a lot.) In the midst of my distress over realizing that I can't always be there for my children, it was just the reminder I needed this morning when I returned to her room and heard a chorus of kids and teachers singing, "I am with you always" (Matthew 28:20).

God's got my kids all taken care of. That takes a lot of stress out of this whole parenting thing.

Waitin' on Caleb: Week 23

At just over a pound, Caleb's the size of a large mango right now--add in those active little legs and he's probably just under a foot long. His sense of movement is well-developed by this point, which means he should fall into regular patterns of sleeping or resting when I'm up and about and awake and moving when I'm still. Blood vessels in his lungs are developing to prepare them to breathe outside the womb and his well-developed ears are probably beginning to notice familiar sounds like mom or dad talking or Abby whining.

If I ever complained about how much Abby moved around inside of me, I take it all back. This baby is giving his big sister a run for her money. He seems to be in constant motion, and the times I think he's still and pause to see if I'm right, he starts right back up again. He kicks, rolls, hiccups and even head butts my insides for most of the day and night. I'm afraid by the time he's born my uterus is going to be completely out of shape and fairly badly bruised. No visible movements yet, but my knee-jerk reaction to his knee-jerking is enough to alert most anyone in the room to his activity.

Please continue to pray for relief from the sciatic nerve pain in my back and leg, and for a continued healthy pregnancy!