An unlikely homeschooler

Abby starts preschool tomorrow. Sort of.

I'm calling it Preschool Lite. Also known as the School of Mommy, Abby's preschool this year will take place under my wing. So I guess you could call it homeschooling, though a homeschooling mom was not something I ever wanted to be.

God has shown me a lot this year. I've learned a great deal about my parenting, my children, my role in my family, humility and what it really means to want and do what's best for my kids. I've come to understand more clearly that making these decisions for our kids and our family is deeply personal, and specific not just to each individual family, but to each child within that family.

Back in January, when all my other mommy friends with kids Abby's age were beginning their preschool research, I jumped on the bandwagon and followed suit. It was a little like applying to college again. I did a tour, I downloaded curriculum plans and yearly goals on their websites, I weighed the pros and cons of a classical versus a more artsy fartsy school.

This was important, I insisted to my patient husband. We had to have our daughter registered by February if we wanted to have any kind of say in the program she would be in. This is the foundation of her formal education, I argued. He nodded, listened as I rattled off all the coolest features of my top choice school, and asked the same question over and over again: "Why does she need to go to preschool?"

Well, I thought, we all went to preschool. All her friends are going to preschool. And besides, there are some really cool things they can do with her at preschool that I'm just not as qualified to do.

What will she learn at preschool, he asked? You already taught her all her letters, he reminded me. You taught her to speak, I'm sure you could teach her to read, he continued. You taught her to count, I'm sure you could teach her some basic math, he insisted. She knows her shapes, her colors...you taught her all that, he went on.

He had a point. But I loved the idea of preschool and everything she would get to experience there. And, to be honest, I was looking forward the idea of a few hours to myself with Caleb a week.

And then, in an instant, everything changed. In the midst of our preschool debate, the excitement of finding out we had a new baby on the way, followed quickly by the devastating news that we had lost that baby, turned my heart and my life upside down. And apparently, that's just the way God needed for me to see things. In the days and weeks that followed the miscarriage, God was my only strength and comfort. And among the many things He showed me in that time of suffering as I drew nearer to Him was that sending my daughter away to school for a few hours a week simply wasn't right for our family, or for her. He gave me a new understanding of just how fleeting my time (and influence) with my children really is, and how valuable that time could be when spent on purposeful parenting.

I argued with my heavenly Father, the same way I had argued with my husband, about why sending Abby to preschool was the right thing to do. But He used the encouraging words of the man I married to show me I could do it myself. And He used the experience of other moms who had made the decision to keep their kids home to show me how I could do it.

So here I am, months later, excited about the prospect of teaching my kids at home, and ready to kick off our first year of Preschool Lite right here under my own roof (and in my own backyard, which is where I intend to spend a lot of our "school time" while the weather is perfect).

She's only three, and has years ahead of her to sit behind a desk. So this year, my goals are to let my kids have fun, to experience and enjoy God's creation as a family, to teach Abby to read, to teach Caleb the alphabet, to memorize some scripture and some classic hymns, and to read, read, read to my children as much as possible. I've got some fun crafts planned that both the kids can participate in. I have a few field trips in mind that I know they'll love. And week one includes baking cookies, which should get things off to a pretty good start.

So here goes homeschooling.

Now there's something I never thought I'd write.